A Formula In Flux
Listen guys, I know I haven’t written any of my own blogs in a while. Honestly, it’s because I’m facing a few changes in my formula right now and I wasn’t really sure what to actually write about! So I decided to share with you what’s changing and why – even though I haven’t really figured out how exactly it’s all going to look in the end. But here it goes….
For starters, I’m writing this the morning before starting a new role at work. I’ll be taking over the CFO position at my organization effective today and I’m really excited about it and a little bit nervous as well. There are parts of the role that I’m very comfortable with due to my previous position as accounting manager. But there is an entirely new element of responsibility in this job, and while I certainly feel up to the challenge, I wouldn’t be completely honest if I said I haven’t had a few twinges of self-doubt or fear that something is going to be overlooked as I transition fully and ramp up my knowledge in those less experienced areas.
For the past several years, I’ve also been very comfortable with my ability to balance my career with the rest of my life and the unknown of how this new role may impact that balance is a bit unsettling for a type-A, plan-ahead kind of gal like me.
Because of these unknowns tied to this new position, I’m wondering how my formula is going to change.
In addition to the anticipated changes because of my new position at work, if you are a YFFL newsletter subscriber, you will recall from my April newsletter that we had to say goodbye to our family pet of 14 years at the end of last month. It was ridiculous how empty the house immediately felt, and even though he was old and I'd been mentally preparing myself for the inevitable for a while, I wasn’t ready for how drastically my formula changed because of this loss.
There are the little things – like remembering I no longer need to leave a wide berth around the end of the bed when I get up to pee in the night because Titan’s pillow is no longer there. I also don’t have to look around the bathroom door when I get out of the shower each morning before I turn off the light just so I don’t step on him (as he would often lay there and wait for me to get out of the shower).
And then there are the bigger things – like not going for a daily walk anymore. I’m just not sure I could go on my own yet – it would feel too lonely (and no one else is getting up at 5am to go with me!) Instead I’ve been lying in bed until my husband comes back into the bedroom after his shower and needs to turn on the light to get dressed for work and then I drag my butt out of bed and get ready to do a workout in the basement instead of my walk. Workouts are hard too since Titan always used to be hanging out close by (often actually laying on the yoga mat that he assumed I’d placed on the floor for him). The added benefit though is that without a walk in the morning – by continuing with the habit of getting up around 5am – I do have time to work out as well as spend time on YFFL most mornings. Trying to look on the bright side of things I suppose…..
Our family also went on our first real vacation without Titan in about 8 years. The last time we left him for a week to vacation was when we went to Florida when Julia had just turned 2 (I remember because we just missed not having to buy her a seat on the plane due to her age!) Since then we’ve had lots of trips to the cottage (which Titan loved) and plenty of weekends away for hockey and ball tournaments where Titan enjoyed some time with one of the grandma’s who treated him like one of their grandchildren! Lately though (like the last two and a half years) the four of us haven’t even all attended weekends away together if we couldn’t take Titan too because he was too difficult to leave with anyone. He was on plenty of medications for his thyroid, his joints, and in the end, nerve related mini-seizures. And he was unpredictable… Would anyone else know what his many different barks and looks meant? I was so in tune with him – we really were quite good at communicating with each other considering we weren’t speaking the same language!
Anyway, we’ve just arrived back from a 4-day getaway to a resort in Mexico. Everything about it was beautiful – the weather, the views, the resort itself. And still, there was a bit of sadness in my heart because I knew why we were able to be there. I’ve been promising the kids for 2 years a trip where we go on a plane and see the ocean – just as soon as Titan passes away I would say. I know – maybe it sounds horrible – but it was our reality. We couldn’t leave him, and we didn’t want to. But once the responsibility of caring for him was over – I’d promised them we’d get away somewhere tropical.
So I’ve been MIA for a while because my world is in a bit of flux right now. I don’t know what my formula is going to look like when I settle back into a new routine. To be 100% honest with you – I don’t really know where YFFL fits in all of it either. But I’m going to practice what I preach and take the time over the next few months to really figure out what new elements are going to fit into my revised formula for living!
Here's what I can tell you that you can expect from me and YFFL though. The weekly guest blog series will continue to be sent out each Sunday morning for you to enjoy reading with your morning coffee, the newsletter will still to be circulated the last Sunday of each month with updates on my formula, and the two free email programs, Healthy Habit Reset and Organize Your Life, will continue to be available in the resources section of the YFFL site.
This transition I now find myself in is so much of what YFFL is all about. When I look back over the past 12 months of my life I know the most important skill I possess is being able to adapt and shift my formula as life circumstances demand me to. Here is yet another opportunity to perfect this skill (and that’s absolutely the attitude I will have to keep as I decide what this new formula will look like!)